Friday, November 18, 2011
No Date Tonight
So M is still not feeling well, so we called off tonight, or she did really, I was more than willing to come bring her tea and soup on her couch, but she wants to be feeling better for our first date, and I can understand that. I'm actually handling it better than I expected. Something just feels so right about "us" that I'm more ok with waiting than I thought I'd be. It could also be that it's what she wants, and what she wants is important to me. Don't worry, it's just her, I still don't give a damn about what just about everyone else wants, it's just that she's made the short list, and it's a very short list. Part of my problem is that I'm a big picture kind of guy, I see how one little thing effects all the others. For instance, I'll now spend tonight trying to reorganize my daughter's room, and moving some stuff down to the room in the basement. As far as the basement goes, I was going to build shelving down there, but have been holding off mainly because I haven't had time, but also because if there is a good possibility that my 2 year plan includes relocating, why would I spend the time and money building custom shelving. With all of the thinking I've been doing lately I'm pretty sure that even our short term plan will include moving, so the shelves won't be getting built regardless, I'll just hang some basic stock shelves to get stuff organized. Ultimately though I'm goal oriented, I need something to work towards. I'd like that goal to be streamlining out life and making us more portable in order to facilitate an easier relocation at some point in the future. While that will likely be the goal regardless, it would be nice to fit some people, locations, and circumstances into it to give me some real motivation to make it a reality. As time goes on circumstances will hopefully give it a time frame too, being as I know I work better, or at least more efficiently under pressure.
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It just dawned on me why M probably doesn't understand why I really truly don't see her being sick as something that would be a problem for our first meeting. She's a nurse and all and has been dealing with sick people for years. But that isn't the same as my having been married to one, my wife was sick for a year and a half, it never mattered, the kind of love we had transcended the physical, being sick, physical changed in appearance, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'll be the first to say that physical attraction is very important, especially initially, but at a certain point it becomes less of an issue. That isn't to say that if the person becomes repulsive it wouldn't cause problems, but once you get past the outside and like what's inside, the package it's in isn't as important as what's in it. I think I'm already at that point with M, granted I'm working off pictures and video chats, but a few sniffles and a fever couldn't possibly stop M from being cute and attractive, at least not for me.
I like this, Peter ... like you talking about moving out especially. I think that's a great thing to have in your short term plan. While I'm sure it's been mostly good for you and Hannah to live with your MIL, it really isn't the best situation for you to be able to move into whatever the future holds for you and Hannah. Good luck with your streamlining! And I'm hoping that M is definitely a part of your future.
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